I like my sex mixed with concussions.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
