he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
