just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
