Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize