2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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