we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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