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I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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