so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
