Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
well you can't waste a boner
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
