If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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