Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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