Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
