do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
