It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
