You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
