You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
should my penis look like a turkey
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
