then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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