Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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