apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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