dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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