that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You have to summon your inner elephant
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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