Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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