i just wanna soil my oats bro
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
