so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
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he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
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Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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