I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
