Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
