Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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