Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
His nipple licking is glorious
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