someone threw a dead crab at me
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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