I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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