i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
