wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
