twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
