please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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