There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
