the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
