i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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