does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
