how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
