sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think my nap took me to another dimension
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
