I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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