He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
