yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
