I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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