he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
