i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize