i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
