Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
birth control should be required to get into college
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
