my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
