friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
