Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
