I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
