Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
