bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
