My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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