I got chris browned last night
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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