How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
