so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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