i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's rum buckets o'clock
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
