Sry I called you an 8
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
