I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
