susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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