yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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