Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
