i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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