We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
